Hello lovely readers,


Glücklicher Christi Himmelfahrt meine Leser! 

How is your day going? Thank you for the views on this blog and for all of you who also looked at my photography website, thank you for the 700 views! <3 


The sun is shining and people are out. I also went outside for a little while. It was a minute since I photographed for real, with the camera. (I checked; it was four weeks ago.)

So, today I took my camera out for a walk and went walking around the neigbourhood! I shot some amazing photos. If you want to see them, you can check them on I also changed the look of the website to match the website with this one. 

Today I went back to my old profile of When I was about 16, I started writing about my favorite band. It always ended up, them saving me from reality and bringing me into the world I thought, would be perfection. The world of being famous, the world of hiding and having a new persona, the world of people liking you for who you present to be. 


Let me start with the story, because I had a couple of them. It has 50.000 words and 4100 people read it for some reason. People, actually liked this, I am quite surprised. 

So, it has several chapters: 152. I did not know how to use chapters, every time I wrote something was a chapter for me. Okay, here is the story: this extremely toxic girl, falls in love with a toxic guy, with a toxic life. They fall in love, they hurt each other, she gets involved with his brother. It got 43 likes, and the story is described as “Fan fiction, Fantasy, Romance”.


I am surprised to read something I wrote in Dutch. After all, I was between 14 an 16 when I started this story. All the stories I wrote between 14-18 are in Dutch, I guess. 

Later on, I started to write in English. Oh, and the most impressive part of this story? Writing “The point of view” of every character! Why? Why, was that a thing? 

I know it is easier to get a full story if you get the opinion of everyone… And I found out I never finished the story. It has been five full years since I uploaded something of this story.


Maybe one day I will share it when it is re-written in English.


Liebe Grüßen!

Your Berliner girl  

Hello lovely readers,


How has your week been? Any plans for the weekend? Let me tell you: live isn’t always about roses. 🌹 

What a week! I wasn’t feeling well this week and since I dyed and bleached my hair, my head started to itch. I thought I burned my scalp with bleaching it twice in less than 24 hours. I also dyed my hair purple in those 24 hours. And I mixed the dyes. I mixed Purple/Violet + Auburn Red + Bright Pink. I should have tested it on my skin for a reaction, but since I have been dying my hair since I was 14 without any crazy reactions… I didn’t see any harm in it. And yes, this is going where you think, it is going.


Last Wednesday I felt sick, and it started to itch behind my ears. My head started to itch more as usual, but I also had a “Salmiak” lollypop, which kept me thinking my reaction came from the lollypop. I also ate a cookie with a layer of milk, I have had reactions to milk in the past, so it could be that too. I had some issues in the past with food, some food allergies and I got quite sick of them. Literally. My skin started to itch more and more and the next morning when I looked at myself in the mirror, my whole face was blown up, red, full of rash and it was itching like crazy. I figured out showering helped, later I put some “Bepanthen” ointment on my skin, which was helpful for about two hours.


After 5 hours of sleep and being awake several times, it was the next day and time to head to work. It only got worse and I felt so bad. The itching was annoying and I couldn’t focus, the Bepanthen helped a bit. At this point it was not just my face or my head, my neck / my throat / my back / arms / legs, basically my whole body was covered with rash. In the evening I fell asleep around 6 pm, because I was so tired. I woke up at 8 pm and later on I went back to sleep around 2 am and woke up at 4:30 am again. I put on the Bepanthen again and I slept on and of between 11:00 am and 3 PM.


I ordered “Cod liver oil / Levertraan olie” ointment and it did help for a bit. My skin seems to get better for now. Most probably it is an allergy to a sort of color in the mix of hair dye. It has been the first time in 14 years, to get this reaction. I checked my favorite search machine again and it shows all the symptoms I have / had for the past couple of days. Please never again, I am going crazy and I want to sleep so badly. "How Long Does Hair Dye Allergy Last? The symptoms of a mild hair dye allergy can last for about 10 to 15 days from the day of application. With due procedure, you would see itchiness, rashes, and inflammation go away in two weeks. However, a hypersensitive allergic reaction to hair dye could last up to several months." ( Lucky me, probably going to deal with this for weeks!      


Currently singing my heart out on Enrique songs. I am so happy to feel better than the last couple of days. 

“Addicted – Enrique Iglesias” I am going back into the old times, when I was about 13 years old and a huge fan of Enrique! Hero and Addicted were my favorites next to Alguien Soy Yo. What is more magical than not understanding lyrics, singing them in Spanish and later when having Spanish classes, finding out what it means. Yes, that is right! I got a certificate for B2 level Spanish. Hablo Espanol? Quizás! Tengo un tatuaje con text en Español en mi pierna! My Spanish is not great, but I still do understand.


This week has taught me that I only felt ugly while looking in the mirror. I hope I did not freak out people with the rash on my skin. For now, it is taking extra care for my skin, not touching anything and wait until my hair is not purple anymore. This weekend it was my plan to go to Bilthoven and go to Ridderoordse Bos. I was a bit too tired to go to Bilthoven, but next week I am off between Thursday and Sunday, I am sure I will make some time to go to Bilthoven and photograph!

Another fun thing to share: I bought a book to study for my drivers licence. It will take months maybe years before I finish, but at least I bought the book. 

And while you're at it... Listen to "Paramore - Decode" & "Monsoon - Tokio Hotel" Always a good one to sing along and feel like a 15-year-old. At 15 I was watching Twilight and being a rock-girl. 🤟 


Have a lovely weekend my readers! ֍


Liebe Grüßen!

Your Berliner girl 

Hello lovely readers,


How are you doing? And most importantly for this blog, how is your love life? My horoscope told me that I am in trouble today. I will be unfaithful. Unfaithful of what? I guess the reflection of my mirror. Is it cheating when you ate chocolate when you are on a diet? Because… Yes, I was unfaithful. They are right! Okay, that is for another blog.


Today I want to talk about the columns in magazines and websites on how to calculate the love between you and the person you like. There are websites which calculate your love in numbers, percentages and by combining how many letters in your name are in common, they will calculate the rate of your similarities. Sometimes they tell you, you are made for each other because you like the same books. You laugh about the same jokes. Or maybe because you both have the same hobby?


I have been wondering this for a while now. Is it real? I also tried it, half a lifetime ago when I was 14. I calculated the love rate between me and a famous artist. We weren’t a perfect match. I think they were right about this one, since I never met the guy.


Are they a scam or not? I do not remember anything differently than every popular magazine having these columns about love and how to stay true to yourself or how to make him fall in love with you or better how do I know if he is in love with me? Why do we need to make someone fall for us? They like us or not. Do not make someone like a version of you, who you are not. So, who is the scammer here? You or the magazine that made you believe that you need to change for someone else? 


Online you will find a lot of love tests and also tests to love success. The question is, how is it working these days? Usually before we find out we are liking someone, we didn’t even meet them yet, because mostly it is starting online. And if we met them already, can a test tell us if we are in love? Or just like someone for who they are? Tests and columns seem to talk about “love” a lot. But do they know the differences between liking someone and loving someone? And how should the 14-year-old reader know what love is?


We can guess how they would be around our friends, but if they acting odd around your friends and family, something is off, right? But why would you take a love test if your partner or soon to be partner is already controlling, don’t we all want to feel loved and be seen as their number one? The person they want to be around, the person they think about.   


There are so many questions, but we all seem to grown up with taking and creating these tests. Why do we want to know if our names are compatible? What does it even matter? Is our love life going to be any less because of one letter? Why do we go to sleep, 4 hours later than usual? Why do we start to like things, we never liked? And why do we look like a wreck, all day long, just because of liking someone and staying up for hours and hours. And then there are these tests. Why do we hold on these tests? I think we take a test because we want confirmation, we want to believe that he or she likes us. Even when deep inside, we know that is not the truth. But why do we want to go through this pain of creating a fantasy of someone liking us, when we are sure they don’t?


Maybe we just want to be loved? Is that the reason why there are so many websites? So many clicks? So many fantasies. Why is it so important that we change? We always change when we meet a person. For better or for worse. Everyone is the same, everyone is doing the same. We are all reacting the same.


How do you forget someone you like? What if you took a test, the test confirmed your love for him? You took another test out of his name, to test if he likes you. Now you are happy because it said yes. But he didn’t. You walk up to him, ask him on a date. And there it is, he is perfectly happy with someone else and you just never really saw him. You saw the image in your head of you two together. Now you need to forget him, move on. Skip all the horrible tests and feel miserable because you were in love for years, you never did anything except for those tests and creating fantasies.


There are too many questions and not enough answers. “There is a third person who will try to interfere in your love life today. It is up to you how far they succeed.” – 3 rd of May 2021. Couldn’t be more wrong.

If you have some answers for me, I would love to know how this world works. The world of love tests and making people believe you need to do a test to get something real.


Liebe Grüßen!

Your Berliner girl