Hello lovely readers, 

Here I am, to tell you that I in fact, tested negative on Covid-19. I have been trying to write this for a few days now. But, it has been hard writing, I am incredibly tired and my mind is turning to places where it should not go. I will not even go further on this, because I will make a fool out of myself for telling you things, that are not even there.  My mood is going up and down, very fast. Concentration? 0 %. I even forget how to write some easy English words.. 

I also must say; if you want a great series on Netflix? Watch Bridgerton. The nice thing is, the music is incredible. Some of the songs are songs from now, but re-created with a Quartet. The Vitamin String Quartet, to be exact. You should watch the series for yourself. 

Currently I am still sick and have major trouble with holding in food. My muscles hurt like crazy! But at least it is better than a few days back. I must say, since I am bed, sick, I have been super creative. I keep on drawing and exploring new music to write to. Am I a writer? No I am not. But I just felt in the mood of writing and drawing. 

It is Sylvester. Almost 2021. Almost a new year. For me it sounds so crazy that the year is almost over. A new year, a new month, a new chance for the world to heal. So many things I want to do and so many things I dream of. Always dance in the rain, even when there is a storm. Some wise words from my grandmother: Do not let anything hold you back, do whatever you want, what you like and move on from that. 

Have a great Sylvester, to all of you! 

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl. ❄️   

Hello lovely readers, 

Here is a ranting-I-might-have-corona blog article. What is going on in my life and is Christmas CANCELLED? :O 

We still have 9 days left of 2020 and my year has been pretty well concidering all that is happening with Covid-19. I stayed strong and kept me on to the rules of the goverment. I moved countries and developed myself creatively and I might found out what I want to get out of life (>!)  

Today I took my first COVID test and it was less bad as expected. The test, not being sick. They put a stick in your throath and the same stick in your nose. When they put it in your nose hole, you can feel it in your throath. Weirdest feeling ever. But let's go to all the thing I feel: Every inch of my body hurts, I am exhausted. Maybe it is really bad flu, maybe not. I felt better when I was in the hospital in Berlin in December 2019. I was in the hospital for four days. 

- Really bad headaches

- Out of Breath / problems with breathing

- Pain everywhere in my body 

- Exhausted all the time without doing anything. 

Walking to the fridge is even too much. It is so bad that I need to make myself go out of bed and move a bit because I do not 

want to be stuck and keep being sick. 

Something I got this spirit inside of me, I need to be super active. Which is not possible but my mind feels like that twice a day. When I walk to the couch and back to my bed it is over. For now, it is sad to say, but probably... Christmas is CANCELLED. Health first. This is probably going to be the first Christmas in freaking twenty-seven years that I will not celebrate. I am lucky that next to all the cramps and pain, we are in the year where social media is on the top! So there is always something to watch, a new app to explore. Always something to do. 

I also started drawing a lot. Maybe that happens when you have a lot of time in your hands. Hehe funny, in your hands. As you mayben noticed, when I feel sick, I am not who I used to be. I will be back when I feel better. In the mean time enjoy my drawings. 

Stay healthy,

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️  

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Hello lovely readers, 

My head feels like bursting at the moment. Tip of the week: "The pretty reckless - 25". I do not know where my mind is at. So much is happening right now. For starters, it is almost christmas. And the question of the day, can I celebrate Christmas? I need to do a Corona test tomorrow because I have not been feeling well. I will get the answer before Thursday evening. 

It is a crazy time right? Obviously I hope it is just a flu, but I must say: I feel terrible. My muscles are so stiff, I did not feel pain like this in a while. My head feels like having migraines and I am out of breath all the time. Even when I walk to the toilet or turn around when I am in bed. So, I feel really sick but my body thinks "Yay, be active!" Which is not possible at the moment. 

I have describing everyday for the past 7 days. Where did I go? How did I feel about the lockdown that day? And what did I do for entertainment? I must say: A lot of drawing and a lot of watching movies. I found out that you can buy movies on YouTube. It is the best! I already spend 40 euros. So maybe it is not the best at all! I should save up money. But other than doing groceries, I barely spend money. 

The crazy thing is, after I come home tomorrow I am not allowed to leave my house for 48 hours. Maybe for 10 days. That means I need to stay at home for Christmas and new years eve (sylvester). I am not allowed to see people for 10 days and put myself into quarantaine. How crazy is that? 

Well let's hope for the best and make sure I am safe and make sure it is just a very very very bad flu! 

If I do not check in before Christmas.. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and you get everything you wished for. Alone or together.. Make this year special, as if it is your last one! Nothing but love. 

Liebe weihnachts Gruβen / Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl. ❄️


Hello lovely readers, 

Maybe I should not be writing now, since I should have been asleep two hours back (need to work tomorrow). And maybe I should not write because I injured my wrist and I can barely sleep at night.. All maybe's, if we could live of maybe's, maybe I would be in Bora Bora now, or maybe not.. You get the idea. I think it is a great idea to live on the edge, it will bring us further than where we ever were. If you do not try, you do not succeed. If you never tried, you can only regret what you did not do. 2020 made it clear to me to appreciate everything I have and to work for everything I want to achieve.  

So after telling you how sad I am and how life is treating me (it is treating me well), at 21:15 there was an interview with Tokio Hotel on a YouTube live stream. It was so great and I was so happy it was on YouTube, since I still do not have Dutch/German tv! So, watching the live stream on YouTube & it gave me more energy for the two last weeks of 2020. To be honest I was / am kind of done with this year. 2020 is like in high school, you know you messed up, you are never going to get that 70% you need and you still need to do the exams. After the interview with Tokio Hotel there was also; them playing music! 

Got some new energy now to fullfill my next couple of days. If I counted correctly it is 2 half days and 8 full days and then the working days of 2020 are up! How crazy is it to think, next week is Christmas and we almost survived this year of craziness of madness of the world falling apart. 

Do you have any 2021 wishes? 

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️   

Hello lovely readers, 

Tonight at 00:00 the lockdown will start in the Netherlands. There was already not much to do and I was really happy to see the theaters and museums open. This is my second lockdown and in a second country, since before my first lockdown was in Germany. Every day I become more and more grateful that I am in The Netherlands and that I am able to visit my family when I want to and when needed. We all have those bad days, where we just do not feel like ourselves. Since I do not have anyone sitting next to me on the couch, I go to my family. The biggest gift of 2020. 

The skin on my hands is so raw, of all the cleaning, anti-bacteria and cold on my hands. The last time we had a lockdown, well I say we, but I actually mean the whole country Germany... I still remember Bismarckstrasse, I walked there because I needed fresh air, I needed to get out of my small room at Richard-Wagner-Platz. I wanted to go to Lidl and score some toiletpaper obviously, (didn't we all wanted to score toiletpaper?) but I forgot the directions! I was driven by people in Berlin. Where the people went is where I went. The most crowded side of the street was the side to the supermarket. 

Crazy to think that I will not be able to go to Berlin untill at least March and maybe even summer. In July 2021 it has been a year since I was in Berlin. Last year has been a ride!! The type of ride from a rollercoaster which goes backwards, makes some flips and stops in the middle to freak people out. That sums up 2020 pretty much. But, there is more to come; I will update you with photography, Christmas is in sight and we can't forget Sylvester (which is in two weeks!!)! 

I think it is time to sleep, when I wake up the lockdown is there.  

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️   

Hello lovely readers, 

How are you all doing? A lot has happened since the last post. My eyes are hurting and very annoying, since I was with a cat yesterday. Okay, let's start for real: I am obsessed with "Berlin - Tokio Hotel". Mostly because it is about Berlin. I have been a massive Tokio Hotel follower when I was younger, but I still listen to their music because it brings back memories, from when I was listening those songs when I was younger. I think it was two days back when I got an advertisement about Tokio Hotel concert tickets in Arnhem 16th October of 2021. And I was like "Am I going to do it? Nah, I am not going to do it. Oops I did it." Of course with cancelling insurrance, so if Covid is still prohibiting me from having fun at concerts, I would get my money back.

Okay so up to the next part: Yesterday I went to visit my friend in Rotterdam. I am happy to see that people are really wearing facemasks and are taking their distance. I was a bit worried about that one. I did not want to ruin christmas by going to Rotterdam. It is always a possibility, but I took my distance very well. Since museums are open again: We went to the photography museum. What a beautiful place it is! We also got some hot chocolate to go from a place nextdoor. How about expensive? It was 5 euros for a plain hot chocolate. Never doing that again! 

Aaaand: I am a camera girl now. I bought my first camera, how about that?! Okay, I didn't really photograph with it and do not know how it works yet... But I will get there! I also bought a pack of 3D photo's. I just thought they were really dope but it seems they are 3D with 3D glasses and all. So, I will figure that one out! 

Have a lovely day my readers, 

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️ 


Hello lovely readers,


Ekjgrakehgjskhrgauvrn ufsuedfunvrheghuneruanvuifaer fdjkhgerhuvger. This is not a random language you just fell into, I was testing my keyboard because things did not go as how I wanted to. I am just joking, when does something go as planned in life? never. To be honest I did not write in a while, okay I wrote but never uploaded. I have been swamped with work and to be honest I was a little lazy this week. I pretty much killed my diet and accepted that I am a failure. 

The following piece I wrote while watching the Joker: When did you fail life? When you can’t look in the eye of a kid and smile? When you can’t fake your actual smile? I say it all the time, I failed someone. Mostly that someone is me, sometimes I feel like I failed myself since it didn’t go as planned. But when do we actually fail life and when do we win life? When you’re rich and have everything you want? Who says you’re happy when you’re rich? Is winning life equal to being happy or is winning life everything you desired as a possession? Maybe winning life is love of being good at your job. Who will tell? Maybe it’s different for everyone. 

The following piece I wrote after buying a new pair of Nike's and being in pain because they are expensive: How something seemed so perfect but went into the wrong direction since I wasn’t paying attention. When you don’t read the rules, you will have a harder time competing in a game. Or maybe you’ll be more creative to solve the game. My Nikes are black as I wanted them, but instead of buying black Nikes I used acrylic paint to paint my brand new white and purple shoes. The shoes got hard because of using the wrong paint, I dumped black paint on them. 

For now I also quit dating apps. If the universe wants me to die alone, so be it. I do not care anymore. I will survive on my own. Joking again! I really quit the dating apps, because it is useless now. WHY would I be on a dating app if I am not going to meet anyone for the next three years, because CORONA. Yes, I am THAT girl. 

I hope I can write more this month, but it is going to be hard, since it is Christmas in two weeks! How weird, the year is almost over. It is almost "remember december" again and I do not know if I like it. Do I want this year to be over? No not really. Do I want corona free holidays and travel again? Yes everyone wants to. Is it relaxed that people do not question me for being stuck at home 7 days a week? Uh YES! There were some pro's and some con's about this year. Today it is the 10th of December, and this is a special day since it has been exactly 5 months since I moved to The Netherlands and restarted my life again. How crazy?! All the things that have happened this year... 

This Saturday I am travelling (in The Netherlands...) to Rotterdam! Because this girl is buying a (secondhand) camera! A real one, not my phone, a real one. Super excited and I am also going to see my good friend and ex-colleague! A lot of cathing up to do... 

I will speak to you soon, sweet followers! 

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️

Hello lovely readers, 

How are you all dealing with everything going on in this world? I was thinking about last year and what have happened in the last 12 months. 

1. When the year started I heard I needed to leave the place I was living in. March 16th was my moving-in-date. I moved from Kaiserdamm (Berlin) to Richard-wagner-platz (Berlin). There was a catch in this story, I was supposed to move to Wedding (Berlin), but someone in that place had corona, so I was not able to move there. The agency providede me with a temporarily accomodation. But the next point is even more fun! I could not find a mover in the time of covid-19, so I packed all my stuff (11 boxes of stuff) and moved by U-bahn and a lot of walking. When I entered the room I found out it is half the size of my old room. I ended up with throwing half of my stuff away during the next 6 months. 

1.1 How fun, another moving story. I must say, I am full of stories about Berlin escpecially. Me and my friend Michael did the last things of the moving - by last things I mean the worst things. An aquarium of 240 Liters, my bed and a box full of photobooks. We decided to put the bed on the street, since that is a thing people in Berlin do? I did not know of it, but I did it. The badass I am. Next stop: huge aquarium (Do not worry, my fishes already died, so it was totally empty. But how are you going to move such a massive aquarium made out of glass? (Oh, I miss having fishes.) Well, we didn't. We put it in the storage room and hid it. I had such a blast in that room! 

2. Home office in my 15m2 room! I stayed in that room with homeoffice for 4 months, March to the end of June. I was a strange new beginning of a new normal. Oh! I still remember when we needed to hunt down toilet paper and where to get it. I felt like such a criminal when I ended up buying one pack of toiletpaper at the Edeka Konigin-Elisabeth-Strasse. People were staring at me outside, it was the weirdest happening of 2020 I guess. And how about the empty supermarkets who could only provide you with long lasting bread and milk?   

3. I moved from Berlin, Germany to Soest in The Netherlands, to stay with my parents until I found my own place. I was super happy to go back home, but I could only take two suitcases and my tv. So, as far until now, there was one suitcase with personal belongings and one suitcase of clothing. And my mom and I went back to pick up my tv and throw out all of the other stuff. 

4. It took me two weeks to find a place, it is with three flatmates, so not entirely mine. The price and the room were okay, and I got it! I would have thought to find a place this fast. I think no one did, since it takes years and years to find a place in The Netherlands. It is almost the same as the pricing / renting madness in Berlin.  

5. Celebrating my birthday with my family and turning 27 in a corona-based-birthday-enviroment. I had so much fun, it was such a great time! 

For now it enough of the stories! 

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️

Dear lovely readers, 

Remember December? Now it is! How is it possible that the time passed by so fast? In one week it has been 5 (!!) months since I moved to the Netherlands. Crazy, huh? Four months since I moved to the place where I live. Three months since I quit smoking cigarettes and quit drinking alcohol. In a few hours I am on this earth for almost 10.000 days! 9855 days, to be exact. * Yes I looked this up online, it is fun! 

I felt like buying a lot of stuff I do not need online, so I was a strong woman and I did not order anything. If you ever have time, you should check out: Linkin park In the end (Mellen Gi & Tommee Profitt Remix). This helped me through the breakdown I had when I cut my hair and practically murdered it with bleach. Can you even murder hair? I don't know. 

This week is another week of being restless. I must say I am nervous for everything that is coming. It is almost 2021, I am 27 and still do not know what I want with life. I wish I knew what my next steps would be. And where am I going to be? Who knows. It is never the same with me. They say the Sagittarius need a person to settle with, to get the rebel out of them and calm down. Well hello here I am, I do not need someone to save my rebel side. I acknowledge that side, sometimes it is pretty, mostly it is not.    

I hope you all enjoy December for the time being, but for now I am still waiting for snow  in the Netherlands. I know it is not going to happen, but in Berlin there was snow  and it is so pretty! :3 I hope some day I will have snow  in the Netherlands again, just as it was when I was 14. Times change. 

In case you are wondering, yes. My house is still a glitterbomb. The glitters stuck to my couch and I am unable to get rid of them. So I will continue creating christmas cards with glitters since I do not have decent table to work on. 

Okay, enough for today! Have a lovely week! 

Liebe Grüßen, your Berliner girl.  ❄️